An hour of brilliance.

My mind at this very second is surging with power and all sorts of incomprehensible things.   The way I wish i could clearly paint you a picture of how pretty this marvelous piece of art is.  I'm here with nothing more than just my dear feelings, it's almost as if all the emotion from my body has fed into this duct of grandeur and I am sitting awake at 3AM thinking about life more clearer than I have ever thought about life in the history of what I have discovered and written.  Life is undefinable by any human.  There will never be a definition among that we of the human race or anything can describe life's feelings and moments and everything tied to life.  There is no specific answer, perhaps not even an answer to life's mysterious questions to which why it teases us with things such as the Nine Wonders of The World.  Do you not see the ever so omniscient calling to let you know that perhaps the Nine Wonders of The World were only wonder's that were found by only a few people.  This world can have over a million wonders in the eye of the beholder.  The eye of the beholder is not that of God, infact what if God is just the power of in which humanity restraints it's self?  Jesus wasn't the only person who could talk to this  "God" if you will, why would it just be him?  I find it untrue, instead it was all of us.  We are all the prophets of our universe and our life.  We must understand that once one abuses the idea behind a spiritual being to provide for a moral, things do not at the way we had all thought, thus meaning that all we can do is assume that this is what they meant.  This trickery has been used by that of fortune tellers and tarot card reader's all around the world, because of their human understanding of our psych.  We are the Alpha and the Omega, it is within our power that we create restraint, we create death, we create life, we are here for the experience of feeling our own spiritual experience, and that is what having some mastermind named a priest has taken away from the free people, in making them think there is only one way to go by.  But in all seriousness this means little to noting, can we not choose to feel what we wish? 

We have had our signs, we are to live free, and live by all sorts of acceptance.  We need to have our own spiritual epiphanies, our own musical epiphanies, let us thrive as humanity.

I'm disturbed by the way this world has crumbled me. I have only found myself useless to the masses.

When The Day Met The Night.

I often wonder myself to sleep with the thought of how the thought of the sun and the moon meeting is so very relevant to my situation.  I don't know if I would be the Sun or the Moon, but I know for a fact that I get saved by the other.  You look outside your window and catch those lovely glimpses of a golden sunset,
but, you never know why it was "golden" until you hear the story.  My very own eyes have only seen
the golden sunsets very rare.  When I think of you I think of happiness.  I can't even say I didn't think about you when I was with my, now ex, because you were in my mind more than you know.  I tried to fill my head with negativity to block you out, because I tried to like my ex more than I really did.

Sadly, it's true.  I never really liked my ex as much as I like/d you, and to boot, I haven't actually met you in person yet.  It's been all stills, cams & phone calls over salty seas, but I bet when I do meet you, I'll want to hug you and take you everywhere with me.  I won't want to let go.  Your golden skin in the Summers, White skin in the Winters, with your rosy cheeks and freckles.  Your cold hands in mine.  I don't think I can ever let go.  Not this time.  I'm too over-dramatic, most would say, but you see me differently.  It's an honor to be seen differently than most people see me.

Rainy Days & Mondays (always get me down)

I had a sudden realization tonight.  The world.  It's so big.  Sometimes I wish I could just cross a bridge or two and find my way across the sea without the need to sail away into the blue.  I'm not sure how to feel.  I'm overall depressed.  I want to be happy.  There is a girl that I want, but she's so far away...  Far beyond possibility at this point of even being close to reaching her. 

A Young Heroine but, never saved anyone.

I've come to realize that I have, physically, almost no friends.  They're either all too far away, in college, or they don't want to actually do anything.  Sergio and I are great friends, but sometimes, I feel like the dirt under his shoe.  I miss the times where we used to hang out like there was a party every day, even though if it was a party, we were the only two who were invited.  I'm stuck on just really wondering what happened to all of what I had?  Sure there's a few friends that I let go, but the ones I didn't are gone more so than the ones who I let go. It feels pretty shitty to be sitting in your room by yourself all the time and counting down the hours, minutes and seconds left of the weekend before you go back to the slave shift of school.  I dont even like going to my grandma's anymore.  It just feels like there's never anything for me to do, other than school and more school.  I have what I've sort of set myself up with, complete solitude.  I wanted it, and well, I obviously got it.  The complete and udder silence and stealth away from any planes, radars and friends.  It's what I've been waiting for.  I am a young heroine but, never saved anyone.